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A Sunday School teacher asked little Willie who the first man in the Bible was.
"Hoss." said Willie.
"Wrong," said the teacher. "It was Adam."
"Aw, shucks!" Willie replied. "I knew it was one of those Cartwrights."
Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.
You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.
Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.
The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.
Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".
Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.
To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.
Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.
If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions.
Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.
Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.
Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.
Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.
Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.
If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.
The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.
Perfect 10’s only show up to talk when you are busy.
Bullet proof vests might be.
Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way.
Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.
You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.
Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.
The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.
Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".
Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.
To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.
Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.
If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions.
Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.
Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.
Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.
Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.
Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.
If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.
The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.
Perfect 10’s only show up to talk when you are busy.
Bullet proof vests might be.
Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way.
Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.
You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.
Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.
The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.
Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".
Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.
To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.
Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.
If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions.
Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.
Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.
Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.
Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.
Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.
If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.
The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.
Perfect 10’s only show up to talk when you are busy.
Bullet proof vests might be.
Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way.
Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.
You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.
Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.
The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.
Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".
Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.
To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.
Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.
If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions.
Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.
Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.
Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.
Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.
Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.
If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.
The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.
Perfect 10’s only show up to talk when you are busy.
Bullet proof vests might be.
Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way.
Murphy’s Laws of Law Enforcement
New uniforms and ties attract catsup and gravy.
You will never get the urge to use the bathroom until you have left the station.
Surprise inspections will only occur after you have been in a foot pursuit through mud.
The Mayor will get a traffic ticket the day before your department negotiates for a salary increase.
The bigger they are, the harder they fall. Also the harder they punch, kick and choke.
Never search a dark warehouse with a cop whose nickname is "Boom-Boom".
Pens never leak onto old uniform shirts.
To err is human, to forgive is against department policy.
Shatterproof flashlights seldom are.
If you park your patrol car in the exact center of the Gobi desert, within 5 minutes someone will pull up and ask for directions.
Glow in the dark sights are just as visible to you as they are to the crook hiding behind you.
Wearing white socks makes boot zippers break.
Coffee jitters will never bother you until firearm qualification day.
Flashlight batteries never die in the daylight hours.
Your mouthiest traffic violator will be related to the sheriff.
If the crooks are within pistol range, so are you.
The speed with which you respond to a fight in progress is inversely proportional to how long you have been an officer.
Perfect 10’s only show up to talk when you are busy.
Bullet proof vests might be.
Old squad cars never die, they just smell that way.
Vacation Offer
A newspaper writer, after working for 17 long years, was finally granted two months leave, during which time he would be fully paid. However, he turned down his boss’ kind offer.
The boss asked, "Why would you turn down such a generous offer?" The newspaper writer said there were 2 reasons.
"Well, what are they?" asked the boss.
"The first," he said, "is that I thought that my taking such a long leave might affect the newspaper’s circulation."
The boss asked him what the other reason was.
"The other reason," replied the writer, "is that I thought my taking such a long leave might NOT affect the newspaper’s circulation."
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